You can't lose weight by simply WATCHING those exercise shows on TV!
Objects really ARE closer than they appear in mirror.
Just because you've ordered it at the drive thru window, doesn't mean it'll be in the bag when you get home!
Kittens grow up to be cats!
Just when you find the PERFECT bra, they discontinue it!
Opening the windows on a windy day does NOT qualify as "dusting".
When a teenager tells you she's listening, it doesn't mean she actually heard you!
Prices at the grocery store seem to triple when dear hubby does the shopping!
Why ask someone else to load the dishwasher...you're just going to rearrange it all before you start it, anyway!
When you ask a 12 year old to bring down a load of clothes for the washer, prepare to find a trail of dirty socks and underwear scattered between here and there!
Just because your college daughter comes home for the weekend, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll see her long enough to have a conversation!
McDonald's fries never seem to make it home!
The haircut in the book never looks the same on your own head!
If it's going to need ironing, don't even bother to buy it! It'll only get worn once or twice!
With a Blue Tooth cell phone in your ear, you can talk to yourself in the car and no one will ever be the wiser!
Cleaning is darn near impossible with a kitten in the house!